The Good Manners Instinct

Pickle came to see me this morning wagging her tail. She had gone on a road trip with one of her people, and she came through our shared yard and into my house to find me. She wagged her tail and made a general fuss over seeing me which she does not normally do. In fact, she rarely comes inside my house, and never past the kitchen. But this morning, after being gone for a week, she danced into my office as if to say, "I'm back! Are you still here? Oh, good. I'm glad. I'm so happy to see you again! " and was fully expecting the happy "hello" she got from me in return. It was a moment of delight shared.

I got to thinking how when I go away, I rarely bother to call people to say, "I'm back!" My human reason tells me it will seem self-centered. If nothing else, the idea sounds old-fashioned and stuffy. Bygone manners. The claustrophobic feeling of being locked into social forms. But I suspect good manners did not originate with Emily Post and the mavens of social forms. Good manners are found in the basic impulses of animals who value their group. And as creatures who value their group with deep affectionate loyalty, dogs are great teachers of group good manners.