The Feast of Saint Rocky

Today is the Feast day of Saint Rock or, as he is familiarly known, Saint Rocky. Saint Rocky is the Patron Saint of Dog Lovers, having been kept alive in the wilderness when he was sick by a dog who brought him bread every day from his master's table.

St. Rocky got sick tending the plague-stricken and though the plague did not kill him, thanks to Fido the Faithful, it made him so unrecognizable that when he arrived home in Montpellier, he was thrown in jail as an impostor. When he died, his jailers found a birthmark that proved his identity. Why they did not think to look for the birthmark while he was alive remains a mystery.

It is hard to imagine a dog being caught so long by a case of mistaken identity. Smell is not so deceptive, I think, as sight. Sure, diet and health can change the overtones, but out genetic code gives us our basic smell. Even humans with their comparitive dearth of olfactory information processing, it turns out, can read genes by sniffing. Co-eds in a college experiment got to smell men's t-shirts, and chose as smelling "sexy" the shirts worn by guys whose genetic profile meant an immune system that complemented their own, and as "dull" the shirts of guys whose were the most genetically similar. "He smells like my brother" was a comment that was genetically accurate. The nose knows more than we think.

Laws of Human Behavior

Hugo Martin wrote about dogs off leash in the LA Times and, like many such articles, painted a sensible, well-written, wrong-headed picture that completely missed the point about people and dogs in public spaces. Nowadays, people do not love their dogs as they love their cars or even homes. The behavior of humans with their possessions is receptive to collective rule making and responsive to group pressure on behavior.

Nowadays, people love their dogs as they love their children. A dog becomes an ally who can be depended on in a very messy and confusing world. Dog people break the law because they experience a bond being in nature with their dog that their moral center tells them must be good and all the park rangers and dog experts in the world will not convince them otherwise. Seemingly wise pronouncements on rules for training to some sound like so much "spare the rod and spoil the child" dogmatism to such people and they will ignore it. Laws that groups of people agree are unjust simply will not be followed, and strict enforcement only will raise anger on both sides.

Thirty-nine percent of homes in America have dogs People need activities where they can enjoy the company of their dogs as equal companions, and that means no leash. A dog off-leash is a different creature than a dog on a leash. Fenced off-leash parks are okay, but only the dogs get exercise. For the humans, it feels like a daily visit to the prison yard. Runyon Canyon is the only local off-leash hiking area where both and it is overburdened in the extreme. Huntington Beach is another, but it is a long haul. Not something that can be done every day. The only solution is to have many, many more places such as these. Enough areas for people to hike and play alongside their dogs in the mountains and beaches, so that the scofflaws can both serve the demands of their hearts and obey the law.

Room needs to be made for everyone at the table, yet more room is made for people and their off-road bikes and dune buggies than is made for people and their dogs. Does this seem right or fair. Do dogs do more damage than dirt bikes?

We need to figure out how to integrate dogs more safely rather than figure out how the scofflaws are wrong. When such a large segment of the otherwise law-abiding population tosses all respect for a law aside, that usually indicates an obsolescent worldview that requires revisting by the community as a whole if the community truly wishes to solve the issue.

My Dog, the Camel

If your dog sleeps with you, chances are you've noticed that while you sleep, the dog has drifted from his or her appointed corner. If you are a sound sleeper like I am, you wake up to find yourself perched precariously at the edge of the mattress, one half-roll from falling to the floor. The dog slumbers blissfully smack dab in the center.

I am reminded of the story of the camel who begs to warm its nose in its master's tent. Bit by bit, the camel wheedles its way inside the warm tent until it fills the tent completely and the camel driver has been pushed out into the cold night air. Camels. Dogs

Some folks say you should never let the dog sleep on the bed. The dog will forget who its master is, have behavior problems, make itself a nuisance. They say dogs are not people and shouldn't be treated as such.

Sure, dogs are not humans. I cannot stay at home while my dog goes out and earns a living or decorates the house or, god forbid, does the gardening. And taking over the 'tent' to sleep in the middle of the bed is certainly a nuisance. But this traditional idea of dogs also reveals a world-view of its proponents. This view deeply believes in hierarchy, in natural masters and slaves, in authority exercised in bright lines that punishes swiftly and demands absolute obedience. Households are like ships and need a captain who is the law in himself.

Me, I don't buy it. The price of the master/slave authoritarian dynamic is too high. My dogs are not my slaves. We are a team. They all agree that I am the leader, not because I hit them, but because I bring theme food, I provide them with shelter and I educate them in the ways of the world. I am top dog not because I hit and yell ( I don't) but because I serve and protect them. In exchange for that, they give me the same. They serve and protect me in their way. The image I prefer is captain of the team rather than captain of the ship. A ship is a hierarchy designed for war, where one side wins and the other loses. The team that is our household is designed for life, where even the idea of sides makes not sense.

If my dog pushed me so far that I went to sleep on the couch, the dog would leave the comfort of the bed and make do with the living room floor, preferring company to comfort. So I forgive the encroachment, give a solid bump with my hips to reclaim, if not the center, then one half of the bed, and go back to sleep.

How to Lie While Telling the Truth

Read the following opening paragraph of a Letter to the Editor of the Ocean Park Gazette in Southern California a while back. Note your reaction to the content. You will have a fundamental misapprehension of the situation without a lie actually having been told.


"Other Species May Pay Price for Dog Beach

"May 11 - Small vocal groups are pushing for unleashed, unfenced dog beaches in Santa Monica and Dockweiler (in El Segundo). Both of these locations include areas designated by the U.S. Government as protected for the snowy plover, a small bird that nests on the sands of certain west coast beaches. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service classifies the bird as "threatened" and the California Department of Fish and Game classifies the bird as a "species of special concern." "


Okay. Forget the "small vocal groups" dismissal of the proponents of the dog beach. (Note: Over 36% of American households include dogs. Not small and to my mind not vocal enough.) It's the second sentence I'm interested in.

The author says both of "these" places have snowy plovers. This is a true statement. But which places are 'these?" The proposed dog beach areas? Or the miles and miles of beach with the official names "Santa Monica Beach" and "Dockweiler Beach" See? Both Beaches-with-a-capital-"B" have snowy plovers on parts of them, not all over them, and not at all on the same part of the park as the beaches-with-a-small-"b."

This is a lie that is 100% true. Because English allows for pronouns like "these" without anybody but a composition teacher caring that 2 antecedents exist that could be confused and therefore require "the former" and "the latter" to clarify which is meant. So people reading this letter figure that selfish, thoughtless dog lovers are planning their doggy playground right in the middle of the habitat for a threatened species.

Innuendo is much more powerful than logic because it invites the collusion of the hearer's or reader's imagination. But it is a cheap shot by a small vocal group of selfish, thoughless dog haters who think a pluralistic society means making themselves into the royal "we."

Let me just say, representing 36% of the households, that we are not amused.